The Other Side of the Coin
by PrincessBastet20
Summary: Meeting Negan was the luckiest thing to ever happen to me when the dead start walking. But will it always be that way? My name's Helena, I met Negan the very first day of this crappy new world and well we've been together ever since. But I always have this nagging feeling that our perfect relationship wont always be so perfect. Especially with all his wives around. Negan/OC
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: First off- I don't own Walking Dead and never will. Sadly.**

 **I have this OC with Negan in five different stories all with different context and different situations. I've decided that I wanted to post this one first and probably a few others. This is my first Negan/oc story and I hope people like them, I definitely am continuing with this story and what ever ones I post. Hope yall like them and please be nice! Please! Please! Thank You!**

Helena

 _"Come on! Fuck!" he yelled grabbing my hand and pulling me along with him. "Come on, come on." He said as we ran down the stairs. He held a bat in hand while I held Venus, my cat, in my arms. "Who the fuck keeps a fucking cat during this shit storm?" he asked as we stumbled in to a room. He slammed the door closed behind us and we both as on the ground our thighs touching as we tried to catch our breaths._

 _"She's all I have." I mumbled looking down at the large Savannah who just meowed up at me. I looked over at the man next to me. He had dark hair that was slicked back, a mustache and some grey stubble all of this made him more intimidating. He wore dress slacks, dress shoes and an un tucked button up that was open to show a white t-shirt under it. "I'm Helena by the way." I held my hand out to the man. He took it and gave me a small smirk._

 _"Negan." He grunted._

 _"This is Venus." I said nodding down at the cat that now wanted his attention. He dropped his hand on to her head and rubbed it gently._

 _"Nice pussy." I laughed at his joke. It was much needed right now. He grinned over at me like he was the best comedian ever._

 _"So what now?" I asked him._

 _"We fucking survive."_


	2. Chapter 1

Helena

Two years after meeting Negan, I've seemed to grown accostume to his language even adopting some of his cursing in my own. I even know he's a dick wad but he does what he has to keep our people safe. I say our people because while he's King Arthur, I'm his Lancelot. But mostly in the homestead side of things. I made sure every job is being filled, the job is being done correctly, I make sure people get feed, children get blankets even when their parents can't afford them, I make sure the men don't attack the women or children and I even personally run the kitchen staff. I'm Negan best friend which comes with a lot of perks, including getting the best meals, a room on the fifth floor, safety for Venus and even extra safety from the men, if they dared try anything.

I was positioned on the picnic table just outside the kitchens looking for the small plot of land that we used for the drying of clothes. My book was laying forgotten as Venus and I laid in the sun. She was on her leash like usual but she didn't mind, she just loved her time outside of our rooms.

"Sun bathing?" I laughed when Venus started meowing at the visitor. She even walked over my stomach to approach the man. He picked her up and petted her head gently moving to lay beside me on the table top.

"Don't you got shit to do?" I asked him as Venus laid between us.

"Of fucking course. BUT I always have fucking time for my favorite." He grinned over at me.

"Aww thanks."

"I was fucking talking about Venus."

"FUCK you Negan." I swatted at his shoulder playfully.

"Calm the fuck down, I'm fucking with you." I hit him once more then laid back down.

"So what's on the agenda today?" he asked me.

"Sun Bathing, then I got some information that there are a few berry bushes a few miles to the south. I thought I could jog over with Dwight or Mark and pick a few. Maybe I can make us a berry pie tonight. I have dough already made sooo."

"Hmmm sound fucking delicious. Maybe I can spread it all over your fucking sexy body?" he basically asked.

"Uhhh no."

"How about Amber's?" he asked about one of his five wives.

"Fuck those btiches, Negan." I growled glaring at him after I sat up to be looking down at him.

"I plan to." He gave a snarky grin.

"Negan, if you waste my fucking pie on some two bite dick sucking whore, I'm going to fucking make chocolate shit pie next time so you can eat it off of her." I growled at him.

"Fine. Fine." He grumbled looking up at me. "After the berry picking?" he asked me.

"Maybe get a few hours of reading before I go down and help with dinner." I said.

"How about a shower?" he asked me.

"Maybe after I'm done cooking, before I bring our meals up… Why? Are you going to be going out?" I asked him. I didn't know if he was going to go fuck one of his wives or go out picking up the stuff.

"Yeah, I have to leave for a fucking pick up in a few moments. But I should be home just before dinner. Why don't you take a shower in my bathroom?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I might." I tapped my chin as I kept looking down at him. "Maybe a bath. If you find any bubbles let me know." I said. He nodded his head. He sat up placing a hand on top of one of mine and leaned forward to kiss my forehead.

"I have a fucking awesome present for you tonight."

"Hopefully it isn't like last time." I shivered disgusted at the thought. Supposedly he had a present for me, for our 'fake' Christmas when I walked into the wives' lounge to find him fucking Sherry with Dwight right outside the door. It was disgusting to say the fucking least.

"Nah, nothing like last time." He grinned down at me.

"Okay well, be careful." I said wrapping my arms around his neck as we hugged.

"You too beautiful." He kissed my temple this time as he murmured in my ear. "Make sure you keep your fucking dagger on you at all times." He said. He didn't really trust anyone outside of our original group which was only me, him and an old work buddy of his Frank, who now worked the farm animals. I understood him especially since Abby tried to kill him after he took her as one of his wives. I shuddered at the thought, she had got him in the stomach when I heard him cry out in pain when I was in the library that separated our rooms. I remember rushing over and slamming my dagger into his skull in that minute and fighting with her boyfriend, Zeke who had come up with the idea when Negan crawled over to get his pistol and shot Zeke multiple times but not until the giant man knocked me around a bit. "What the hell are you thinking about?" Negan's voice pulled me from the memory.

"Nothing." I said pulling back from our hug.

"Yeah right. We're you think about me sticking my big…"

"Negan." I cried out to stop him from talking. He was such a sleazy sometimes. "No, I was…"

"You were what?" he asked me.

"Just thinking about Abby and Zeke." I mumbled looking over to where Venus choose to sunbath because we were now blocking her sun.

"Hey." He grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "Don't fucking think of those dickwads. We're safe. I'm alright. You're alright. If I could fucking fuck that bastard up more for what he did to you, I fucking would." He growled. Zeke had turned a few moments after Negan's first shot and I slammed my dagger into his eye ball at that point. To Negan, both of them got off easy. He wanted bash their heads in after torturing them a bite.

"Just be careful, Negan." I grumbled clutching on to his jacket.

"I will be. Now head inside, you got me all fucking paranoid." He grumbled. I nodded my head grabbing Venus' leash and standing up.

"Bye, Negan."

"Bye Little Lena." He grinned at me as we both went our separate way.


	3. Chapter 2

Helena

I walked into the hall beside the kitchens with Venus complaining the whole way. I walked pass Dwight's room and decided to stop. I rapped my knuckles against the wooden door. It opened to show Dwight who looked tired as hell.

"Uh sorry. I was wondering you wanted to go out picking berries with me in a hour or two?" I asked him.

"Make it two and yeah."

"Okay. Sounds good. I'll be back down in an hour so we can go." I told him.

"Kay." He grumbled closing the door. I went down the area towards the stairs that lead up to fifth floor. It was long climb but I don't mind especially with Venus making funny meows the entire time. She was funny. As I climbed the stairs I thought of Abby again, she didn't have stab Negan, if she wanted to leave he would have let her, he never hit any of his wives and he never forced them to have sex, well at least in beginning he didn't force and even after, it wasn't forced but expected. I was on auto piolet as I continued to walk on the fifth floor. I unhooked Venus' leash and she flounced down the hall pass the lounge area for the wives and into the first bedroom. She definitely hated them no matter what they did Venus was no keen on the wives.

"Hey Helena." I lifted my head to see Greg, one of the normal guards for the wives.

"Yeah?" I asked him.

"Negan said to tell you to be nice to his wives." Greg gave me a shit eating grin as he spoke. I knew Negan most likely told Greg to tell me this but Greg also knew I hated most of the wives, the only one excluded was Sherry, Negan's first wife who was still intensely in love with Dwight. We actually talked sometimes, especially when I need to rant about Negan and his fucking shit.

"Tell him I'm always fucking nice." I growled as I walked pass the women dressed in lingerie laying about the fucking room or playing card games.

"Royal flush." I cringed at the voice, it was Amber. Negan seemed very intent on fucking her almost every week in the library between our rooms on the random so I usually walked in on them.

"Hey Lena." I snapped my head at the other voice. A young girl who seemed to worship at the shrine of Negan's cock. I also hated her, Veronica.

"Helena." I growled.

"Well Negan calls you Lena, so I should be allowed to call a freeloading bitch like you that too right?" everyone on the fifth floor froze. The guards' heads snapped to the young new wife, some of their mouths open in surprise that the girl had the balls to say something like that to me. Sherry stood up moving to get between us as I stalked over to her.

"Lena… Lena don't do it." Sherry tried to say as I kept moving forward. She seemed to dance in front of me. "She's stupid and young. Lena don't do anything that Negan might get mad about." Sherry tried to stop me as usual.

"Let her through Sherry. I'm not afraid as her. Negan will kill her if…" She mumbled loudly as a hand clamped over her mouth. Amber was holding the squirming little shit in place. Jessica and Debra moved to the far side of the room to keep me from going after her.

"You heard her, Sherry." I hissed.

"No! No! Greg call Negan! Now!" Sherry yelled at the man who was grinning at his new entertainment.

"Hell…" he grumbled going to do so as I pulled my dagger out of my thigh sheath and pointed it at the little twat. "Fucking hell, he's gone."

"Call Dwight!" Sherry yelled.

"Ow! She bite me!" Amber yelled then slapped Veronica across the cheek. I smirked, both of them got hurt. I spun my blade and tucked it away.

"I'm good. Leave the man to sleep." I grumbled turning and walked towards me room. I paused at my door looking over at the women. "Sherry make sure she knows what happened to the last two wives that fucked with me." Sherry crossed her arms over her chest and nodded her head. I walked into my room and closed it behind me.

I tumbled on to my bed next to where Venus was laying down. I pillowed my head with my arms and then curled into a ball. Fucking Negan. Dickheaded pervert. Stupid dickhead that I was totally and enduringly in love with.

"Be careful dummy." Dwight grumbled grabbing me by my upper arm when I tripped over a pot hole.

"I am. I am. So why didn't you go with Negan on this pick up?" I asked him.

"I was on wall duty all night. Why didn't you?" he responded back snarkily.

"Cuz I'm precious cargo." I smirked as we walked to the berry bushes.

"Yeah fucking right." He grunted as we entered the field. We picked in silence for a while until he cleared his voice. "How'd you two met?" he asked. It was a question, that only Sherry ever asked me. She seemed to like me telling her the story over and over and to tell the truth I loved to tell it. He wasn't a monster then. Nor was I…

"He saved Venus and I. We were on the roof of a business building. He came and saved us. We've been together ever since." I mumbled giving him the shorten version.

"Why didn't he take you for a wife?" Because he's a big dick.

"We don't have that kind of relationship."

"Yeah right. And I don't love Sherry."

"You don't?!" I gasped in a sarcastic way.

"Shut up." He grunted. "So?"

"So what? I love him. I loved him the first week we met. The moment he bashed in the skull of a man who tried to rape me. What can I do though? Become one of his fucking wives. No offense but I have no clue what kind of disease they have. We don't even have antibiotics." I grumbled as I continued to pick the berries. "I have fucking morals. Plus I don't mind working. Its not bad…I just..."

"You hate seeing him with the other women." He filled in for me. I bite my lip trying to control a sob that was about to slip from my lips. I really hated how emotional I got on this topic. "I'm sorry, Helena." I jumped when his hand landed on my back rubbing it gently as to comfort me. "Maybe tonight you can talk to him?" he questioned.

"And say what? 'Hey asshole, I want to be your only wife. I want to have your baby. I want to have a family with you and only you?' You know what he'd say?" I asked him as I paused. Dwight didn't answer. "He'd laugh and hug me. He'd think it's a joke. A fucking joke." I noticed that my face was damp. I was crying a lot.

"Hey, sorry lets talk about something happy… What did you do in the Before?" he asked me. I smiled at the man. He was sweet, I couldn't see why Sherry would choose Negan over him. I'd work my ass off just to be happy with Negan, just the two of us.

"I worked at the museum." I said whipping at my face. "I fixed the art work that was broken or messed up."

"You were an artist!" he grinned at me.

"Yeah, you?" I asked him.

"I actually worked in a factory. Made good money and got to see Sherry every night." He nodded his head as we continued to pick the berries.

"It was just me and Venus in the big city." I said thinking of my family.

"What about your family?" he asked me.

"I have two older brothers. Rick and Christian. Rick was a sheriff in a small county and Chris was a sniper in the army." I stated as I sat on my ass and began to pick the berries from the bottom of the bush.

"Your mom? Dad?" he asked me.

"Dad was with my brother Rick. Rick was shot and in a coma a month before the shit hit the fan. My mom died of cancer… four years ago." I smiled up at the man who stood beside me.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Yeah, well how about you?" I asked him.

"No family but Sherry." He stated.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing be sorry for… Is this enough?" he asked showing me his basket.

"More than. I'm gonna make two pies. One for me and Negan and one for you, Okay?" I asked him. He smiled at me and nodded his head.

"Lets get going." He said. We both began to walk back to the Sanctuary. We were walking down the street with our baskets when we heard enginges behind us. "Go! Go!" Dwight hissed pushing me into the forest edge to hide from a threat. "Oh wait!" he grabbed my arm before I could make a mad sprint. "Its Negan and our guys."

"Doll!" Negan shouted jumping out of the vehicle as it came to a stop.

"Negan." I smiled walking out of the grass and on to the street.

"Got them fucking berries?" he asked me peeking into my basket. "Whoo wee!" he grinned down at me.

"I got enough for two pies. I promised one to Dwight for the help." I smiled over at the blond man.

"Ohhh did you two fuck?" he growled menacingly.

"Why are you jealous Negan?" I asked quietly. Only he, Dwight and I could hear me.

"Fuck yes!" he growled glaring at Dwight.

"Calm down. We didn't do anything but talk. Can we catch a ride?" I asked him.

"Of course my little Lena." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards the back door where he came out of the SUV. He helped me in and then glared over his shoulder at Dwight. Dwight grumbled climbing into the empty front passenger seat.

"So I heard something from Greg." I felt myself roll my eyes. The little fucking tattle tell. "You scared poor Veronica so bad she won't leave her room."

"Do I fucking care?" I asked him. We didn't have to whisper because Dwight often got put in his place and the driver was Jakob who was actually mute. So Negan didn't worry about either talking to the other men about our relationship.

"You fucking should! I don't think you're going to get your fucking present." He growled.

"Again do I fucking care? Negan, she was being a bitch to me. Called me a fucking freeloading whore. You're fucking lucky I didn't cut her face open. You know I will." I growled right back at him.

"You're a fucking psychopath. We're going to talk about this fucking later." He growled.

"No Negan we talk now. I'm so fucking over your wives trying to bully me. I have been here with you, supporting you forever now." I hissed. "I fucking…" I stopped talking looking up at Dwight who had glanced back.

"You fucking what?" he asked me.

"Nothing Negan, lets talk about this later." I crossed my arms under my breast.

"Fucking women." He was pissed which meant he was most likely going to give me the silent treatment and not look me in the eyes. Like a fucking child.


	4. Chapter 3

Helena

Once we got back to the colony, I immediately jumped out of the SUV and headed straight to the kitchens. I decided I was going to spend the rest of the day in there. When I was done cooking dinner and the pies. I sat at one of the counters on my barstool trying to decide what I should do.

"Hey, boss lady?" I turned looking over my shoulder to see Vance, a cook that worked with me. He held the tray that I sent him up to give to Negan for dinner and dessert.

"What's up Vance?" I asked as I ran my fingers over the ice cold counter.

"Negan said that he did not want this with me holding it." I looked back down at my hand then sighed.

"Did he yell at you?" I asked him.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'm sorry. Place it there. I'll take it up don't worry." I mumbled to the man.

"Thank you. Have a nice night." He said then walked off. I stood up taking my apron off and hanging it before I placed my own meal on the tray then walked over to the stair case. As I walked up I tried to come up with what I was going to say to the man. Probably just give a small 'sorry' and eat, then we would do our night routine that was us laying on his bed while we read or he would talk to me until we fell asleep. I rarely slept in my own bed because of this. I nodded my head, this was a good idea. Or a better idea would be to throw his food at him, fight with him and go to my own room. Yeah, I really like that idea. Especially with my broken heart right now, I really just wanted to do was curl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep. Could I handle laying beside him like I didn't want to just roll over and place my lips on his? Could I handle looking into his eyes and not break down crying? Fuck.

I was walking pass the lounge with Greg following me holding the tray for me. I was looking down at my feet while I walked, not because I was ashamed but because my mind was racing about what I might choose to do. I was about to leave the lounge when she spoke, "She's going to get beaten? Think he might kill her? She did threaten me, I am his favorite." Her voice annoyed the hell out of me. I froze before I left the room.

"Shut up Veronica." Sherry hissed. "If she goes to kill you, I won't try and stop her. Did you not listen to us earlier?" When I looked over my shoulder I saw Sherry shaking the young woman roughly.

"I don't fucking care! She's a fucking whore. No matter what they say, you think he hasn't fucked her? They've been together since the first day. I bet she opened her legs for him the moment she met him."

"Veronica!" Jessica hissed angrily. I dropped my eyes down to the ground, I fucking should have done just that. Maybe than Negan wouldn't have so many fucking wives. Maybe we'd have a child together. I bite my lip as I thought about this.

"DID you hear me? You fucking hypocritical whore! I know you've been fucking him. I bet he cums inside of you right?!" I bundled up my fingers into a fist turning on my heels and stomped over to the young woman who stood in the middle of the lounge. I came up to her and swung my fist right into her nose. There was a loud snap and she fell on to her ass. I climbed on to her prone form and pulled my knife.

"Don't fucking mess with me." I hissed pushing the tip of my blade into her temple and then drew it down a whole inch. She screamed in pain as I did this. "You are getting off very easy." I hissed at her as I got to my feet.

"Helena!" a voice yelled. I turned to see Negan standing there beside an empty handed Greg. He must have ran off to tattle tell, again. "Get her to the fucking doctor!" he growled pointing at Veronica as he stomped over to me. He grabbed my arm and began to drag me off, I didn't fight him. He swung me on to his bed as he paced in front of me. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" he asked me. "Did I not just fucking talk to you about this shit?" he questioned me.

"Oh come on, Negan! She was being a bitch!" I yelled back. I jumped when he slammed his fist against the wall.

"Helena, why the hell do you fucking care? Huh? Why?" he asked me.

"Why the fuck did you get jealous about me being with Dwight? Why Negan?" I growled standing up. I slammed my fists against his chest. "Why the hell do you have them?! Why?!" I screamed at him. "Was I not enough?! Why did you have to take five fucking wives!" I continued to slam my fists against him until he just grabbed them and held them to his chest. "Let go! Negan let me go now!" I screamed at the man I loved.

"No. You need to calm the fuck down. NOW." He growled.

"No, let me fucking go Negan." My voice began to lower as he held on to me tighter.

"No fucking way." He grunted.

"Negan now. Let me go." I wanted him to let me go before the tears started to fall.

"Why? Why the fuck do you care that I have so many wives?" he asked me.

"Because!"

"Because why?!"

"Just because!"

"Holy fucking shit Helena tell me, NOW!" he yelled at me. I flinched at the change in his voice. He never scared me until now. "Shit…" he released me, I stumbled back into the bed. "I'm not going to fucking hit you, Helena." His voice was lower now and I just crawled on to the bed to sit on the edge with my legs crossed. He got down on his knees so he was looking up at me as he leaned on the bed. "Why do you care?" he whispered lifting his hand to brush my tears away.

"You know why…" I whispered right back. When I lifted my eyes to met his and he got this large shit eating grin on his face.

"Of course I fucking do. But I want you to say it." He grunted. I looked away from him at this and over at the desk he had in the corner. "Fucking say it, Helena."

"No." I whispered.

"Say it." He mumbled getting up and pushing his face into my neck.

"What does it matter? It won't change anything?!" I asked him pushing at his shoulders.

"How the fuck do you know?" he asked me.

"Because…" I lifted my hand to touch his cheek. "Because I know who you are Negan, I've known you for almost two years now. I know how you are and who you are." I whispered as I pushed my face against his cheek.

"What the fuck does that mean?" he asked me.

"I know you will never take me without my say and I know that I don't ever want to share you with anyone ever."

"Do you want me to never take another wife? I wont. I wont ever take another wife…"

"What about the ones you have? The only one I get along with is Sherry and even than I adhere being surrounded by those women in lingerie only. They are beautiful women, Negan…I think its time for us to stop this." I motioned between the two of us.

"The fuck are you talking about?" he questioned with a crinkle in his brow.

"I think its time I move down stairs. It will be easier and your wives wont be thrown in my face every moment I go to my room." I said.

"No… no fucking way!" he growled.

"I don't think you have a voice in this. This is about me and my feelings. Not about you having your cake and eating it too."

"What the fuck does that mean?" he growled getting even more upset.

"It means, you have five women to fuck then you have a one woman to talk to and be nice to and… make fall for you." I barely got the last words out.

"Fall for me?! Are you fucking kidding me… you fucking love me more than your own family! You had a chance to go look for them and you didn't take it, Helena. You decided to stay with me. ME! You chose me, Helena and I have always chosen you…"

"HOW?" I screamed at him throwing my fist at his face. It connected with a hard CLUNK. I pulled it back to my chest and cringed as pain radiated through my fingers. "How?" I growled again. He was taken back by my punch and looked at me as he rubbed where my fist made contact.

"You fucking punched me!" he practically hissed venom with his words.

"Yeah and I'll do it again, Negan! Now tell me how the fuck you chose me? Huh? By taking wives? By fucking them in the room next to me huh?! Negan?" I growled.

"By never kissing them!" he growled. "I was fucking waiting for you. Waiting for you to be ready. Then I took Sherry as a wife and soon enough I had the rest of them… If I took you as my wife, you'd be number one, hell your number one now. You wont have to work…" he had pushed his body against mine once again while he talked.

"No… I don't want that. I will never want that." I mumbled pushing him back standing up. "I'll go look for an empty room on the fourth level and tomorrow I'll ask some of the guys to help me out… you wont have to worry about me anymore." I whispered the last part.

"Fine… Fucking fine, Helena. I'll treat you the same way I do the rest of them, bitches." He growled.

"It'll be better than this." I whispered going through the door that connected to the library and then went to my room.


	5. Chapter 5

Helena Grimes

"It'll be better than this." I whispered going through the door that connected to the library and then went to my room.

I began to hurriedly pack my stuff in my duffle bag. I was so focused on working I didn't notice that Venus had began to wind her body around my legs. I froze what I was doing and picked her up. I hugged her to my chest as a sobbed loudly. I packed her stuff, putting her harness and leash on then grabbed a few blankets and my pillows. I went to the door that lead to the main hall. I froze at the door to look around the large room. It was a good room. It wasn't what I was going to miss the most, I was going to miss Negan and his quirkiness. I looked around to see on the bedside table was a polaroid of us. He was laying on his back with his arm wrapped around my shoulder as I laid against his chest, my hand resting on his side while he held the camera to take the picture. It was when we first found this place with the guys there were no other women in the group just me and most believed I was Negan's. He was smiling, genuinely smiling at me as I smiled back up at him. We weren't ever looking at the camera. I took the picture placing it into my back pocket. I took Venus' leash leading her out of the room for the last time. As I walked down the hall I knew I was being stared at. I quickly went through the lounge and passed the guards who looked at me with straight faces, they seemed very upset. I walked down to the next level to see Greg waiting for me there.

"Hey Lena… Uhhh I found you a room. Its small."

"Its fine, Greg. Anything with a door is fine." I said.

"Uhhh there's no bed."

"That's fine… Thank you." I whispered to him. He leads me down the large hall with slow steps. He towered over me but I knew he was nice. He led me to a door with a small placard on it. It read 'Janitors' closet'.

"Sorry…" he mumbled.

"Thank you Greg." I whispered again as he opened the door for me. It was clean of anything but a small fan and lamp in the corner. I plopped my blankets on the ground in the far corner. It wasn't too small. It was about six feet deep and five feet across. "Its great thanks." I whispered. "Can you not tell Negan unless he specifically asks, please." I turned to Greg.

"No problem." He went leave when he paused. He looked over at me and gave me a small smile. A pity smile. "For what its worth, Negan would be lucky to have just you. I have my Nina and I wouldn't trade her for a thousand women." He said.

"Thank you Greg." I mumbled.

"We're three doors down. Just let us know if you need anything." He grunted.

"I will. Have a nice night." I said. I moved to pull Venus from where she was fighting to come into the room. "Come Venus." I mumbled. She reluctantly moved in after she did this, I closed the door locking it. The only light was coming from the little window at the top of the back wall. It was small but big enough for me to climb through if need be. Not that I would want to fall four floors but I'll work that part out in the next few days.

I went to the small lamp and flicked it on. I tossed my duffle into the other corner, I put Venus' cat litter in the far corner away from my new bed. I crawled into the blankets. I was tired, super tired. Pulling the polaroid out of my pocket I placed it leaning against the wall on the ground next to my head. I really loved him. I barely felt Venus curl up to my back before I just passed out.

I woke to a knock on my door. I quickly got up and opened the door a crack using my foot to brace the door if someone tried to break it open. I looked up the body to see it was Nina. She worked the kitchens with me.

"Morning, Helena. I was wondering if you would like to walk with me to the kitchens?" she asked me.

"Uhhh sure. Can you give me a moment?" I asked her.

"Sure." She gave me a smile. I pushed the door closed then began to change into a clean shirt. I was working for points now, which meant water and soap to clean my clothes would cost me. I wasn't going to wash my clothes unless I really needed it. Before I worked for points but I rarely used them. I was hording my points especially since Negan just brought me everything I really needed. I patted Venus' head ready to leave when I noticed on the lamp hung a key on a chain. I took it, I overlooked it last night. I went to the door and slipped out before Venus could get through. "Are you locking it?" Nina asked me.

"Yeah, Venus can open doors." I said after I finished locking it.

"Really? She's so smart." After this we walked in silence. I knew she was trying to ask me the 'great' question but she was tongue tied. Once we were on the first floor I looked up at her.

"You can ask." I mumbled.

"Are you okay?" was her first question.

"No… I love him but he has them… I just can't do it anymore."

"I understand. I would castrate Greg if he did that shit."

"I doubt Greg would. He loves you very much."

"I bet _he_ loves you too… he just doesn't know how to express it anymore. Especially with those whores all over the place." I couldn't stop the laugh that came from my lips when she said that part. "Glad to see you smile. I love your smile." She grinned down at me.

"Thank you. And I doubt he would trade little old me for all five of them." I whispered.

"I think there are many men who would. A few in the kitchen seem to follow you around like little lost puppies." I laughed at this again.

"No… I think having a man will be too much work. Maybe…" a thought flashed through my head. Maybe I could leave? Maybe Venus and I could make it out there?

"Maybe what?" Nina asked me.

"Ohhhh uhhh nothing." Probably shouldn't say anything about leaving so soon. Later, I'll get back to the idea. We continued our walk in silence. We walked past a few early morning guards heading towards shift while night guards were heading to their rooms to sleep. Could I get past them as well as the walkers outside? With Venus in my pack? I could figure out a way. Maybe.

We entered the kitchen to see Alberta kneading some dough. "Morn' girls." She greeted us. She was an older member of one of the earlier group, not the original but she definitely had seniority over most of the other people even some of the soldiers Negan has close to him. I pulled my hair up in to a ponytail as I nodded to the woman.

"Heard a nasty rumor about you, Helena." I turned at the voice. It was Jade. A young girl that worked in here.

"Hush, girl. Nobody cares about your rumors get that dough over here." Alberta grunted. I glared at her as I went to get the vegetables from the pantry.

"Just shut everything out, okay?" Nina's voice brought me out of a small emotional whirlpool I was about to fall into. I looked over at her she was leaning against the door frame. "Just do your work and get back to your room. Keep working until you forget about everything. Just don't let it get to you. Don't let her see you like this." Nina stated. She was a smart woman.

"Thanks, Nina." I nodded to her as I went to start chopping the vegetables up. I did just as she said. I worked my tail end off. I cleaned and chopped up vegetables, then I cleaned up the gardens with some of the middle aged women, then I repeated this for a week. A long hard week.

I walked up to the entrance of the main door to see the checklist hanging there. I grabbed it and began to walk through the market checking the people off on what they were supposed to be doing. The women all stared at me as I walked. They were gossiping to one another and I didn't have the emotional strength to stab any of the women in the face for it either. Man, I did become a psychopath. I shook my head as continued doing my job. As I continued to walk through the market, something collided into my legs making me tumble forward. My knees jarred against the ground. I cringed as pain shot up my legs as I braced myself on the ground with my hands. I knew I was going to have scraps on my knees. I looked towards the source of my fall, it was Veronica and some of her teenage cronies. I hissed in pain as I fought to get to my feet. I didn't want to deal with her or anything that had to do with Negan. Which was a fucking riot because this whole place revolved around Negan. I dusted my hands off on my pants and grabbed my checklist of the ground then continued on my way. Was I getting soft? I shook my head, I'm not soft just really fucking tired of having to fight with these women for a place I created beside Negan. I deserved to have everything he gave me! I fought beside him to obtain this shit hole, they just opened their fucking legs. As I finished checking everything off, I knew everyone was watching me after the small episode that was Veronica being a bitch. I started to walk out of the market just in time as I heard Negan smacking Lucille against the metal railing as he walked down the stairs. I turned to see him watching me walk out. His eyes were intense and definitely scary as he stared at me. I kept walking like I had not noticed him enter the room as everyone else was bowing to the man. I had to get out of here. I had to find dad, Christian or Rick hell maybe even Lori and Carl. I needed to find my family… Or start a new one.

"Dwight?" I whispered tapping on his door lightly. The door opened showing the man in just sweat pants and no shirt.

"What's up, Lena?" he asked with a yawn.

"Can I come in?" I asked him. He stepped to the side and I walked in quickly hoping none of Negan's spies saw me creeping into Dwight's room in the middle of the night.

"What's wrong, Lena?" he asked softly. "Sit down." He pointed to the couch he had in the room. I did so.

"I need to get out of here." I whispered as tears welled up in my eyes. He sat down beside me.

"I heard about what happened between you and Negan. Come on, it can't be that bad, right?" he asked me offering me a cigarette. I declined with a soft shake of my head.

"Its that bad. He said I choose him over my family and…and he's right. I did. I had a chance to go to King County, where my brother lived but…but… I was already in love with Negan. I couldn't think of leaving him or the safety he provided."

"And now you can?" he asked me.

"No!" I hissed then clutched a hand to my chest. "No, but…but… I can't keep watching him with those women…I rather never see him again then see him with those women over and over again." I paused to look at the TV he had set up. It was playing a re-run of I Love Lucy. "Veronica tripped me today…" I showed him my hands that was crusted with blood and pulled my sweats up to show my knees, they were similar.

"Shit, did you smack her?" he asked me.

"No…I don't have Negan's protection anymore… I have no rights." I leaned back into the couch more so. "She's going to get more adventurous. I don't want to have to kill her, then deal with Negan's bullshit." I mumbled bringing my hand up to cover my lips as a silent sob left my lips.

"He'd never…never do this to you." Dwight wrapped an arm around my shoulders as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"How'd you know?" I asked him.

"Because he loves you too much. You want to leave? For real?" he asked me. I nodded my head against his shoulder. "I'll help you. I... I'll show you…"

"No…no you can't be seen helping me. He did that to you for someone he doesn't love, think what he'd do…" I sat up wiping my eyes gently. "I just need to know what direction he'll be going tomorrow and I'll go the opposite." I whispered.

"What about supplies?" he asked me.

"He's heading towards Lake View… I…I have blankets and cat food for Venus…We'll figure something out tonight." I told him. He shook his head.

"Come by here when you are about to leave. I'll have a bag ready for you… Mess it up a little in here. That way it looks like you stole it from me… if someone sees you leaving my room or something." He said.

"Okay… Uhhh thanks. Dwight." I whispered leaning forward to place a kiss on his scarred cheek. I stood wiping my eyes as he stood as well.

"The key will be just under the door okay?" he asked I nodded my head as I left his room after making sure no one was around the hall. I walked back to my room, Venus was on the other side meowing and crying at her new found captivity. Well, she was about to get a whole new sense of freedom. I curled up with the cute cat in my blankets when a sudden fear hit me. I would be alone tomorrow night. So alone. A tear drifted down my cheek as I tried to get some rest.

* * *

 **Hello! Sorry for such a long break! I have this huge tendency to start stuff and not finish. I'm really trying with all these stories. Luck yall, this one is my favorite Walking Dead one sooooooo I will be and have been working on this one a lot more than anything else.**

 **Hope yall like it!**

 **Sorry if you didn't...**


	6. Chapter 6

Helena Grimes

A week later~

"Helena! Helena!" his voice growled from the other side of my fire door. I groaned loudly and got to my feet. "Helena." His voice growled the moment I came to the door. I held the handle as I leaned against it.

"What do you want, Negan?" I whispered as Venus betrayed me at meowing happily at her friend's voice.

"Let me in. We need to talk."

"No…" I whispered. "We talked enough."

"Just let me in," he grumbled loudly getting annoyed.

"Negan." I practically begged.

"Helena." He countered with his deep growl that told me, he was going into his angry mood. No one was going to come out of that happy. I flicked the lock and let him walk in. He sauntered in like he was going to rule the roost but he had nowhere to go. My room was literally a few steps in. "What the hell is this?" he growled asking me with a tilt of his head.

"My room."

"It's a closet." He growled angrily.

"Yeah, well what do you need from me?" I asked leaning against the door. He turned fast and pinned me up against the metal door.

"Give your cat to Nina." He hissed.

"What?" I asked numbly. He covered my mouth with his. I grabbed his neck softly and whimpered as he kissed me hard. His lips felt great as the melded to mine.

"Get your cat out of here." He growled. I just nodded numbly. I picked Venus up and walked down three doors. I knocked on the door, it open to show a half-naked Greg and Nina was leaning on to him.

"Helena!" Nina greeted me.

"Uhhh uhhh can you take care of Venus for me?" I asked them. Greg tilted his head to the side while Nina pushed him to the side and took the cat from my arms.

"Sure, sure." Nina giggled. I turned walking back to my room. As I opened the door, I found Negan standing against the wall grinning at me.

"Fucking love when you listen to me, darling." He stated cockily. "Come here." He cocked a finger at me and scrunching it back and forth. I walked over to him and placed my hands on his waist. "We're going to fucking do this. And you're going to love every minute of it." He growled into my ear.

"We're going to fuck," I mumbled.

"No." he growled biting my lobe harshly. I gasped as a pain shocked me. "I'm going to make love to you." He grunted hotly. That was so much better than 'fucking,' he was going to make love to me. To me. He pushed his hand up my top and cupped my naked breast. "Man, I've been dying to touch you. Ever since I've met you." He growled as he tugged my shirt over my head in one movement then stared heavily at my large breast then leaned down to begin to kiss my neck. "Touch me, darling." He whispered. I did more than he probably thought I would. I pushed my hands down his pants to touch his hard cock as it strained against his pants. It was so hard. I whimpered as he bit my collarbone.

"Impatient." He growled as he moved to cover my mouth with his.

"Always." I gasped as we broke our kiss. He laid on my floor in my blankets and pulled me on top of him.

"My Lena." He growled as we kissed harder. My hands moved from under his pants to unbuckle them as he shrugged out of his leather jacket and pulled his shirt over his head.

"Negan. Fuck Negan." I whimpered as he ground his hips up against the apex of mine.

I woke to a hand trailing down my naked back as I curled into a warm furry chest. I lifted my head to look into the eyes of the man I loved but knew I'd only ever had him this way. In secret. He was grinning down at me, lazily. I couldn't stop the smile that covered my face. He was so gentle even though everyone thought he was a vicious monster.

"I missed you." He mumbled hugging me tighter to his side.

"I was gone one week, Negan."

"It doesn't matter. We've never been apart more than a night." He grumbled. "And that was twice. You've always been by my side. Always."

"What now, Negan?" I whispered.

"We get married. You want a huge blowout? I'll get you fucking everything and anything. I'll…"

"I don't wanna get married Negan," I whispered placing a hand on his naked furry chest as I sat straight up. My blankets falling to pool at my waist.

"What?" he cocked his head to the side.

"I'm…" I was going to tell him that I was leaving but that would not bode well for me. He'd lock me up like he did Sherry the first time. It was crazy. He was crazy possessive.

"Spit it out." He growled.

"I like it down here. I'll be fine down here. You need to get back to your wives." I whispered moving to pick up clothes. I threw his toward him once I came upon them while I pulled my own on.

"What if I don't want my wives? Fuck them. I'm coming back every night until you come back up." He continues to growl as he pulled his clothes on.

"Negan, what will your wives think?" I asked as I pushed my head through a shirt that draped over my body more so. He leaned against the door and looked me up and down.

"Fuck what my wives think. I'm coming back to sleep with you tonight… Keep the shirt. I like it." He winked at me with a grin then shrugged his leather jacket on. "I'm gonna go change then I have to leave. Another fucking run." He grumbled.

"Ohhhh uhhh okay." My chance to get away. Get away before he has a chance to suck me even deeper. Made me fall even more in love with him. Made me forget my family once again. No, not this time. I mentally decided.

"See ya darling." He grunted covering my mouth with his before he walked out of my room. I moved around the room quickly gathering what I need and grabbed Venus' cat food. She was going to have a hard time but hopefully, we could find my brothers or father to keep safe… or at least find a place to keep safe for the summer. I had to find safety for the winter.

Negan

"Darling, Lena. Open up." I knocked on the door. No answer. "Darling?" I grumbled knocking harder.

"She's not there." I turned to find Nina standing at her door. "She grabbed Venus in the morning and no one has seen her since then," Nina stated with a weird look on her face.

"WHAT?" I growled.

"Well, she just kind of disappeared." She muttered flinching at my rage. I pulled Lucille back and slammed it against the door handle of Lena's room. It clanked and popped open as I stomped inside to find it empty. Everything was neatly put together in the corner. On top of one of the large blankets was a folded piece of paper.

' _I loved you. I still love you with all of my heart. How can you expect me to share the man I love with five other women? How can I just stand there and wait for him to impregnate another woman before me? What if one of them is pregnant already? I'm not a lamb. I will not flock to your side as they do. I'm leaving for my family. I'm going to find them because you were right. I did abandon them. I did forget them. I'll go to hell for that but I won't spend the rest of my days watching the man I love with every inch of my body and soul fuck other women, watch them walk around in lingerie or have them torture me. I love you, Negan. I love you so much, so I have to go._

 _Love Your Lena'_

"FUCK!" I yelled as I turned on my heels. "Greg gather the men!" I yelled at Nina's husband who had just walked into the hall. The man just nodded and turned around to do as I said. I walked around the corner to run into Dwight. "Hey, fuck head! Where would Lena go?" I growled at her next best friend in the crew.

"What? What happened?" he asked me.

"None of your fucking business now where would she fucking go!" I growled.

"I… uhhh I have no clue. I was coming to report someone broke into my room… Maybe Helena."

"FUCK!" I growled slamming Lucille against the wall. "I'm gonna fucking find you," I growled to myself angrily.

Unknown

She was stumbling over her own feet. The cat was ahead of her meowing loudly to keep the woman's attention. At the end of each meow, I could hear the woman talk lowly to it. Trying to convince the cat that she was going to be okay but over and over the cat sounded uninterested as it circled her legs and then prance forward when she tried to pet the feline's head. The cat was keeping the woman moving. The cat seemed to know that it was what kept her alive. Her and the bundle in her stomach. She was heavily pregnant, maybe seven or eight months. She was gonna blow. She needs safety for her, her cat and most importantly her baby.

"She needs our help." Eric's voice made me turn my head towards him. We both sat in our car watching her on the side road. She had stumbled on to the road a few moments ago coming out of the forest where I knew she was at. She had been camping in the area with the cat for a week now. She had walked by Alexandria, not even giving it a second glance. Spencer had seen her and her cat. Now Eric and I followed her as she continued to get further from the safe-zone. Her long black hair was limp around her head as she looked at the ground, probably watching her step so she didn't fall. The cat knew to yowl when a walker got close. I'd watch her go from stumbling around the forest to her breaking out brass knuckles that had a knife in the grip. She was like a walker herself when suddenly she struck like a snake. A knife to the skull of the walker. She was talented and in need of help.

"Let's go," I told him as we got out of the car. We trotted towards her. One moment she and the cat were walking forward when suddenly she turned to face us. Her knife pulled and the cat at her side, hissing and spitting angrily a step-in front of her mistress.

"Stop right there." She growled. It was the first time I got a look at her face. Her face was pretty, not beautiful only because of the 'V' carved on her left cheek and a large puckering scar over her right eye starting just above the eyebrow then over her eye, then heavily over the cheek then nose ending before it could touch the other cheek. She wore the hood to hide them even though she hadn't been with anyone.

"Sorry," Eric whispered. "We just wanted to catch up with you. You walked by our safe zone a few days ago. It's safe. We have houses and food. Even baby items." Eric said softly to her with a hand up like he was approaching a dangerous animal in the wild. We were.

"Alexandria?" She whispered gently as her other hand went to cradle her stomach.

"Yes," I answered.

"One of our men saw you. We wanted to invite you to meet our leader. Maybe see if you like Alexandria you can stay." Eric gestured to our car. "We'll drive you back. We have large houses, townhouses and even some small cabins in the back. You'll be more than welcome. We have a few kids and so we have some older baby items. Like a crib, a car seat and some other stuff." Eric tried to convince her.

"We have a doctor. He can help you give birth." I said the best negotiation item, I had in my mind. A hiccup gasp left her lips as she took us in.

"I'm Aaron, this is my partner, Eric." Eric lifted his hand in a wave.

The woman dropped her arm to her side and clicked her tongue that made the cat stop spitting and hissing. It sat at her feet and looked up at us like we were old friends. The cat was ugly. Its face was scarred and disfigured like her mistress. A 'W' was carved into its forehead and it had its body wrapped in a warm cat sweater that I could only assume, the woman scoured everywhere for. She loved the cat, its torture was probably torture for the woman. She was most certainly forced to watch its attack. The V on her cheek was probably meant to be a W but the people didn't get a chance to finish it. I looked up at the woman once more to take her in. She wore a thin sweatshirt with a black vest over it and a tank top under it, it bulged out as her swollen stomach announced that she was in dire need of help. Her hands were covered in black leather gloves. Her legs in sweats that went over her tummy. Awkwardly, she wore combat boots as she stood there with a backpack on her back, knife in her hand and cat at her feet. She was awkwardly pregnant but most definitely in need of some humanity, some help that could make her feel loved and her baby.

"I'm… I'm Helena and this is Venus." She introduced herself. "We'd love to visit Alexandria." Her smile was shockingly beautiful. Straight men would fall for her faster than a snap. As a gay man, I could easily state that her beauty was not stopped by the scars covering her face.


End file.
